 |
|
We smiled; it seemed smiles were our ways of soothing our souls, calming ourselves a knot, brought ourselves to the understanding that death was a part of life, and life often times had to choose to move on without this aging vessel we lovingly called body because life has to know itself by expanding its consciousness; to do this it has to have some type of form and human body is the form with all the five senses. When life's consciousness has expaned to the point the body can't contain it, anymore, life has to move on in search of itself.
We took comfort in that knowing that our fathers' sufferings were minimized during their last moments on this beautiful planet we called earth. "How old are you, anyway?" she asked. I stood in silence, wanted to expel something thought provoking she would find interesting enought to expand the conversation for many more hours, but nothing came out of my mouth; I was still awestruck by her individualism. "Are you afraid to tell me your age?" She asked. I was not afraid to utter my age. The problem was my jaws had locked up; I couldn't open my mouth; all my brain cells went into hiding, and I was searching for them to no avail. I struggled to get a grib of myself and finally succeeded after many moments of trying. "Nine -- I'm nine years old." "I thought you were older." I would like to think of myself as being older or at least more mature than most kids my age. "I'm an old soul, too."
The boys looked to our direction and beckoned for us. Ballerina waltzed to them; I followed her every step; my eyes would never veer from her. The boys surrounded her, vying for her attention as if she was Snow White and they were the dwarves. They looked at her with great adoration, taking turns questioning her. I tried to pull her away from the group being cognizant of the fact the police would decide to return this direction. They had the tendency pull this kind of tricks. I knew their game; I ran away from them many times before, and would again. This was the official story I told the kids why she had to leave them in an urgent fashion, and they believed me wholeheartedly, after all, they looked up to me as if I was their dad; maybe I was. In actuality, it was one of my ploys to steal more alone time with her, and it worked to perfection, even I was surprised by my own canniness. ------------------------------------------------------------ The police had guns; I had knowledge of the streets; I dared them to hunt me. They thought I would be afraid of their weapons; they were mistaken to the hilt. The only thing I feared then were ghosts, and not ashamed to admit that I still fear ghosts to these days. I could never sleep alone. If I did, I would have all the lights turned on, all doors open and music blasting, and I would still be up most of the night, only tiredness would put me to sleep a short period of time. I despise ghosts. Then came 1980 and I was still thriving on the mean streets of the capital. The war maybe over but small battles waged on between the remanant of the Khmer Rouges and the Vietnamese soldiers. All the inhatitants lived in constant fear but there was freedom to move about before curfew. One day I happened to cross by the front of our apartment, my mother saw me and waved me over, and somehow I was warmed to her call or maybe I had enough of the streets and wanted to be back home; I shuffled to her and she told me the family was planning an escape from the city and into Thailand and America afterward. I believed her. To my surprise, I didn't receive a whipping that night. What a relief! And I slept quite well. I couldn't remember much of the long trek to Thailand. I just recalled being hidden inside a truck as it rumbled out of the city and on unpaved country roads, got unloaded and loaded back on many time along the way. When the targetted destination was reached, we were put on individual bikes and were peddled towards Thailand borders. Corpses along the roadsides spoiled the air, I had to hold my breath for a certain period of time, thinking why these rotten bodies were not buried; they were somebody's relatives at one point in time and I was sure they were missed as I missed my mom when I was living on the streets. I got scared when my bike was quickly distancing itself from the group and was relieved when it stopped to wait for the rest to catch up. We arrived at a tent camp site, a walking distance to Thailand borders, just before the sun was about to set. Tags: I Survived Mindeyes19 And His NSA Agents X
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||
